I wouldn't steal a boat*

September 2024 round-up

Programming notes 🤠

Whoa there, howdy partner. Bet you weren’t expecting to see me in your inbox today. I started this newsletter a couple years ago when I was flirting with the idea of writing personal essays, but that dream died, and so this Substack sat derelict. But as I’ve started to diversify my content, I’ve realized that a newsletter might be a handy way to collect all of my projects in one place for folks who are interested. So that’s what I’ll be doing here from now on. Hi, hello, welcome!

Links 🔗

The big news is that my TikTok account got hacked last month. It was a whole ordeal. But I’m back in the driver’s seat of my original account (@pagemelt) now. This month’s Patreon-exclusive video covers the thrilling saga in detail, among other things. (Hey-oh, Patreon plug! For only $3/month you’ll gain access to one exclusive longform video per month. Somebody recently commented that it’s the best value on the internet! So!)

Although my TikTok account has been heroically wrested from the control of a 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 👹, there were a couple weeks when it was touch-and-go. In the interim I made an alt account, which I brilliantly christened @pagemelt2. While I’m not planning to continue posting there, you can still watch the videos I made. In this one I talk about the Beatles and how much I love rock-and-roll, in this one I talk about how I find interesting art, and in this one I talk about how I first discovered fanfiction.

Back on my OG @pagemelt account, I made a video about some of my favorite new-to-me media from this summer. Highlights include Severance by Ling Ma, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers, The Green Knight (2021), Emma. (2020), Peach Pit’s Being so Normal, and ScHoolboyQ’s Blue Lips.

I finally finished my big fantasy read of the summer: The Sarantine Mosaic duology by Guy Gavriel Kay. I made a video about it here.

I also made a video about DNFing Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore but remaining hopeful about Moonbound, both by Robin Sloan.

But my most controversial video in a hot minute was this one I made about the “We Both Reached for the Gun” fan edit trend, which kind of unexpectedly struck a nerve with some people. That led me to make a follow-up video about performance and process and how that work is often rendered invisible on TikTok and in internet media generally.

And over on Instagram, I’m still sporadically posting silly goofy media wrap-ups.

Feelings corner 😵‍💫

Having a splashy video hit the FYP for the first time in a while made me realize I’d forgotten how awful it can feel to suddenly have thousands of unfriendly eyeballs on your work. Most people are normal and nice and fine, and plenty of well-adjusted people simply like (or don’t like) a video and move on with their day, but I did get a few comments that surprised me with their cruelty. One insinuated I had undiagnosed neurological issues, that I was engagement farming, and I’m just generally obnoxious and unpleasant to behold.

Of course that commenter doesn’t actually know me, but their flailing about for a way to insult me did hit a bruise. I’m scared of people finding me annoying and unpleasant, and I’m scared of making the world a worse and uglier place with my art. So when the idea that I might actually be doing that—that it might not just be an irrational fear—enters the picture, it can cause a bit of a tailspin. Like, “Oh God, should I continue to create things if I run the risk of mildly annoying someone?”

And when I put it like that, it’s like: yeah, of course I should. Duh.

Recs 🍲

I’ve been wild about Korean food lately. I just never get tired of it. I’ve been adding kimchi to everything (because it goes with everything), and I just made bibimbap in my rice cooker following this delightful recipe. (It turned out great, obviously. Although I did sauté the bulgogi separately.)

I keep returning to this great video. In it, the creator talks about what they think separates successful artists from struggling ones. “Art is supposed to be dealt with” has been bouncing around in my brain since I first watched it.

I recently read We Have Always Lived in the Castle, which was my first Shirley Jackson since reading “The Lottery” in high school. And, yeah, she’s just as terrific as everyone says she is. This opening paragraph is absolutely out of control:

My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I am eighteen years old, and I live with my sister Constance. I have often thought that with any luck at all I could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but I have had to be content with what I had. I dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. I like my sister Constance, and Richard Plantagenet, and Amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. Everyone else in my family is dead.

And if you think Shirley Jackson is a cool, underground rec, wait ‘til you hear about this obscure little flick I just watched called Midsommar. (I kid. Except I did recently watch Midsommar, and I did really like it.)

I also highly recommend taking your dog places.

WIPs ✏️

Patrons know that I’ve been working on a huge YouTube project that I’m excited about and proud of. I still need to do the actual filming and editing, but scripting is always the laborious part for me, and that’s done, so we’re over the hump. Go ahead and subscribe to my YouTube to make sure you don’t miss it.

I’ve also been writing fanfiction, lol. Lmao, even. More on that in a (hopefully near-)future update.